This means to apply standards to everyone else, but they don’t apply to you for some special reason.
So a person could say that the reason they never date or find partners is that they are not attractive. There is this special reason for them. But you can always look for evidence, if there is something special (or different) about you. We let the media shove images and ideals down our throat, but rather than do that we can go out and look for our own evidence about life. Is there someone who is also ‘special’ in the same way you are (not so special, huh?), who is actually killing it, because if there is then your thinking is either simply illogical or you are hallucinating and couldn’t find the example.
Now of course, people who have been isolated for a long time have internalised an identity around this, and this means that the world around them is often filtered, they focus on what they want to see (unconsciously) to mirror their beliefs. So in a conscious search for objective evidence, they could go and ask people, on forums, like “Hey, I’m quite unattractive and never meet anyone who wants to know me. Is there anyone here who is in this situation and had dating success, a happy marriage? “.
The problem is that people with a strong identity based on isolation have often embedded themselves into relevant groups of similar people who are an echo chamber. If you ask that question, and you’ve chosen a group full of people with the same mindset as you and they will just validate the fallacy. You need to widen the search for good contrary evidence and a role model (or two). You could ask in a more general group, not something about being specifically Forever Alone or celibate, but more about dating or general chat. The other thing you can do is ask AI, for some examples of well known people from the past and present who are in your situation and nailed it, who have or created what you want, and then read their biographies, get ‘into’ them.
When you “get into them “, then there might be a lot of resistance to their story in your mind. The internal voice might say, ‘yeah, but it’s OK for them, they _____’
… and so a contrary argument starts, which is great because you can now REASON IT OUT. Whatever the inner voice comes up with, apply logic. It’s making an argument, i.e. trying to keep the belief the same. Now we cannot say that it is definitely incorrect. Perhaps you ARE “undatable” and will be forever alone because you are not attractive and that is just the way it is and the only way for you to have any peace of mind is to accept it. But if this is the case, then this inner-voice will be able to construct an argument that makes sense logically and has no distortions nor fallacies, and you will easily be able to argue it with another reasonable person who will not be able to pull it apart because it is sound and logical.
… can your inner-voice do that?
Well try it. You can’t do this in your mind though, as you are in it’s territory, these wispy thoughts and ideas are really whispers. You need to listen carefully and write it all down, and once it is there on the paper in black and white you can look at the propositions, the conclusions and the logic. If it’s sound, you’re done for.
(Hint: it will be illogical).