Disqualifying the Positive

In a way, this seems like the opposite of the mental filter, but it isn’t. Disqualifying isn’t filtering. To go back to the date example. The mental filter was a focus, so thinking about the food drop and not the movie conversation. It’s not saying there was no movie conversation or connection, but choosing to dwell and give weight/significance to the food drop and all the other negative s*** from that evening.

Disqualifying the positive is to filter or focus away from something positive, but to say it doesn’t count for some reason. So after the date, thinking about it, the person could conclude, “Oh yeah, and then there was that long conversation where she LIED THROUGH HER TEETH about liking all the same movies as me because she was so embarrassed to be there with such a loser but needed to pass the time until she could politely leave.” There is no evidence for this, or against, and to draw that conclusion only on reason (and filtering contrary evidence) is insane.

A keyword is perhaps “just because”. You could say someone complimented you “just because” they wanted to be polite. Or someone gave you a promotion at work “just because” there is no one else who can work those hours. It might be true, but you need to back that with reason and evidence, otherwise (unless you are a mind-reader) it is insanity.

Talking about mind reading…

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