My reality on earth is embodied in a way that I can’t change. I was created with a visible gender that people can see and make various assumptions about me. There are also legal constraints around this ascribed identity. I was also born with a race, which differs among people and also makes others ascribe an identity to me. Lastly, I have a nationality and cultural identity ascribed to me, and again, people make assumptions based on this. It also constrains me, legally, concerning where I can live and pay tax.
I have limited agency and choice over the external identities. I can act within peoples’ expectations, such as following gender norms, or face external shaming or worse.
External identity is about who people think I am, and there’s also an internal identity, which is who I think I am. This seems to be based on mental-pictures and self-talk. It’s based partly on the senses, i.e. looking into the world and seeing the differences between people and considering who is “like me” and making (usually unconsciously) mental representations of myself in various situations, daydreams etc. Some of this is necessary, for example, when traveling, I have to construct an internal (national) identity that matches my legal (national) identity and behave as expected. Choosing the bathroom in public is another one. These things are fixed. Other things are self-created. I can see myself as Jewish, and join likeminded people doing various retreats, or as a public speaker, and find places to live out that identity. A person would never apply for a job which they “cannot imagine themselves doing”.
Therefore, identity is important because it guides my behaviour, but it needs to be conscious, mindful, and really it needs to be minimal. Most wars and arguments are based around identity. Identities need to be defended, but also maintained. Such as a “professional business person”, who needs to look that way, have the clothing and accessories and regulate their activities and behaviour to stay within that identity. Thus they have the internal identity, and behave accordingly to let other people know their identity, and this is rather than be ascribed a ‘default’ identity based on gender and race alone.
So a person might need to maintain a certain identity to keep a job and belong to various social or religious groups, and dress and consume accordingly. They might have a Christian, rightwing leaning Caucasian stay-at-home-mom identity, and family and social life that revolves around this and straying too far from the expectations might cause problems with this.
Personally, I can write full time, so I don’t need to maintain a professional identity. I look male but don’t identify with it particularly, but I need to maintain it externally where expected as it’s not worth the trouble. I have a spiritual identity but don’t want to interact with groups based on that.
My observation is that identities are largely socially constructed, even gender, as all the expectations are just made up, the differences between spirituality etc. and it’s just something for everyone to argue and fight and it takes up time. It’s also limiting, when you claim an identity internally, you are saying “I am this”, and it is creating a boundary, between what you are claiming and all the things you ARE NOT. So it’s limiting the limitless. In my mind I can be anything. If I imagine myself as something internally as so far removed from my embodied reality, like an eight foot black fairy, and then imagine living life and being happy and successful, then the picture of ‘myself’ in my mind is so far removed from the reality of my embodied reality that the picture in my mind wouldn’t feel possible, so I need to “keep it real” to a degree, but that is all.
Therefore, because identities are constraining, lead to arguments, need consumption and defending, I think it’s best for me to apply a policy of “identity minimalism”. When identity is ascribed to me in a way I cannot change, accept it (e.g. passport control at immigration). Internally, imagine myself the best realistic version of myself I can be. Otherwise, avoid any external identity tags. Wear black, plain clothes with no logos, no jewelry with no function, no writing on teeshirts and plain, necessary possessions, with a function.
External identities are ascribed and I have no agency.
Internal identities need to be believable to create positive behaviour.
Identities cause friction.
Identities are often optional and avoidable.
I choose to avoid identities where possible or to be totally fluid.
An aside. For example, omnism means to follow all religions. I can use the spiritual practices that work for me without ascribing to one fixed identity. If I’m at someone’s house as a guest and they want to say grace, I can belong to their religion for the duration of the meal. If there’s a three day Diwali festival while I’m travelling, I can be a Hindu for three days. Identities are like clothes that you can take off and put on according to the weather. This way, fluid identities mean you can still get the benefits of belonging and community, as long as they are FLUID.
I AM NOT THIS
NOT ME, NOT MINE, NOT WHO I AM
YES. I BELIEVE ALL YOUR S***