I live alone. I have two male friends and numerous female acquaintances.
People generally don’t like me, they avoid my company. I think it’s for two reasons. One is my poker face. Due to a violent childhood, I show no emotion at all, and find it very hard to do so (I feel, I just don’t show it). The other thing is a genetic diseases, which, over the years, has created a sinister appearance in my face that makes people feel uncomfortable.
Luckily I’m happier in my own company, and find other people draining. Even with my good friend, after a few hours of talking over lunch, I’m ready for alone time. Also men don’t want to be so close. They prefer acquaintances. When I look back over life, I can’t think of any relationship that made me happy in that I wanted to spend a lot of time with a man. I lived with a male colleague for over a year once and still know him, but we only went out one time. I don’t need to see him again, although we keep meaning to arrange something, and if we did I’d go and it would be OK for a while, but I’m neutral either way.
I get on with my other friend better, but we’ve only been out a few times. If he wanted to meet up weekly I’d probably really enjoy it, but then I’d feel very attached. He’s a bit older than me and I’ll miss him when he dies (if he dies first, all bets are off!). The relationship we have now is OK.
I’ve been much closer to women in the past, although three close friends died, and again, I don’t know if that pain is worth it. When I was close to women it was the same as men, after a few hours company I’ve had enough and am ready for alone time.
I have health issues, which means I have to sleep on a hard floor, can only sit in certain types of chair and can’t walk far. It’s doable as a single person alone, but I’m very aware of it all when I’m with someone.
I do seek out female company sometimes and am promiscuous, but don’t like to spend more than a few hours with an individual woman. Sometimes the issues are contextual. Once, I was searched in public by the police for sitting too close with a woman (I was with her but they assumed I was robbing her). Twice someone has come to ‘rescue’ a woman I was congenially chatting to (somehow interpreting a normal conversation as a threat to her). I know that in any situation, there is a bias against males and I will always be at fault no matter the circumstances.
Also, a lot of times when just talking, many women will only talk themselves up, how they’re better than you, back it all up with pseudoscience, be competitive in a way that is just boring. I think they do this as most men put up with it as they are hoping to have sex, but it makes for a totally unpleasant experience.
I do like the physical closeness though, but it is absolutely not worth putting a lot of time and money into spending time with a woman like this. I don’t get anything from friendships. The way that society privileges women and sees men as threats makes it unsafe for me to know them socially.
Argument:
I generally don’t enjoy company.
I like to be alone.
Happiness doesn’t depend on company.
I like physical closeness to women.
I don’t want women as friends.
Hating is bad and disliking is OK – and they are not the same thing.
I’ll be friendly to males but neither seek nor need friendship.
I’ll use transactional dating or celibacy for any physical needs.
Let’s practice writing this symbolically, just for fun/practice.
Variables:
c = company
h = happiness
w = women as friends
m = male friends
p = physical closeness/needs
Logical Operators:
¬ = negation (not)
∧ = conjunction (and)
∨ = disjunction (or)
→ = implication
Premises:
¬c
c
¬(h ↔ c)
p ∧ w
¬w
(¬m ∧ ¬m) ∨ m
(p → transactional dating) ∨ celibacy
celibacy
¬c∧¬(h↔c)∧(p∧¬w)∧(¬m∨m)∧((p→transactional dating)∨celibacy)
Explanation of the Equation:
¬c: I generally don’t enjoy company. ¬(h↔c): Happiness doesn’t depend on company. p∧¬w: I like physical closeness to women but don’t want women as friends. ¬m∨m: I’ll be friendly to males but neither seek nor need friendship. (p→transactional dating)∨celibacy: For any physical needs, I’ll use either transactional dating or celibacy.
¬c: I generally don’t enjoy company.
¬(h↔c): Happiness doesn’t depend on company.
p∧¬w: I like physical closeness to women but don’t want women as friends.
¬m∨m: I’ll be friendly to males but neither seek nor need friendship.
(p→transactional dating)∨celibacy: For any physical needs, I’ll use either transactional dating or celibacy.