Cognitive is from the Latin, cognit, which means to get to know. Our feelings are BASED ON OUR VIEWS OF EVENTS rather than events themselves. There is a world “out there” beyond the black box of our mind, that the senses report. Now there is a chance that is false, that it’s a simulation, but it makes no difference. We seem to exist with feelings and we can choose them. It’s about a thinking style. The world is actually inside. Yes, it seems we are perceiving a world outside, and we probably are, but it is recreated by the brain inside the mind. It’s an inner-world. The world “out there” (if it exists) is recreated in the mind, which is considered objective and it appears to be recreating some objective thing that other conscious beings can also see and we cannot change by thought alone. With this outer perception, you cannot change an elephant into a cat.
But the same mind that recreated a world reported by the senses (within the mind) can also create a subjective inner-world. The imagination. It’s very similar, except other people cannot see it and you have full choice and control over it (if you choose, otherwise, it keeps creating spontaneously, based on what you chose to create in the past). So essentially IT’S ALL WITHIN, but it’s the same perception. What I really mean to say is that, in terms of experience, your experience of being conscious, there is only imagination. You really have no idea what is going on outside your skull. There is one imagination and it recreates both the objective world (if it exists at all) and the subjective world. These two sides of the same coin exist simultaneously, we perceive, imagine and think at the same time, and moods are usually a reaction. Our thoughts react to what we perceive, and our feelings react to this.
Maybe if I explain this with an example. Say a guy is lonely. He perceives a hot looking female and feels a bit aroused. A mental daydream, of going on a romantic date with her or a sexual fantasy, arises in the mind. But the feeling that arises in response is despondency, and there is an understanding, belief like ‘I could never be with a woman like that’. There is a desire, for romantic or sexual union, but the desire wants the part of imagination that creates the world “out there” to create the romantic or sexual union.
It isn’t enough to visualise/imagine it on the inside, because that is causing unhappiness/desire. It needs to be ‘outer-perceived’, i.e. be real, even though if that actually happened, and you went to some romantic restaurant or love hotel, the (hopefully happy) experience would still be recreated within the mind, IT WOULD STILL BE IMAGINARY, but the reaction would be happiness. Just think how life would be if you could control the entire imaginary world, for every moment of every day and all your thoughts and feelings were orientated from it [pregnant pause].
Alright, let’s leave that thought for now. At this point (or any point) you can control the subjective part of experience, what you think, feel and imagine. Usually you don’t, thoughts, feelings and daydreams react to perceptions, the things the mind is recreating (imaging) from the perceived world “out there”. Even if you sit in a dark room alone with the eyes closed and decide to think nothing, then it all will be spontaneously created: thoughts, feelings and mental-pictures, a stream of consciousness, much of it based on what was perceived in the past, aka all the sh** that’s happened to you.
But it is also possible to choose to create thoughts, feelings and mental-pictures. The latter can kind of be created and projected also. Usually these imaginings seem to exist around the eyes (because that is the sense that is the strongest and so we ‘feel’ we exist in that location (we don’t). So we have a choice of creation that we can use, although we usually don’t, but when we do then we can change our experience, our consciousness. And so it is possible to go to a cafe for an hour and decide that this is “happy time” and create what needs to be created to make that happen. That’s a good start.
For most people, that isn’t a complete answer. Mainly, all the spontaneous stuff that comes up, much of it below the radar, thoughts, feelings, mental-pictures, in the form of memories, beliefs etc. based on things we are perceiving, and things we perceived in the past (the sH** that happened to us). In the cafe, for a short period, you can make a choice, for a short period, but to continue that choice, to reign and discipline the mind so it is the treasure chest that the Zen master talked about, is actually a lifetimes work. But you can babystep this because even a little success reaps a huge reward, and we are talking about the most important journey in the universe, the journey to your awakening.
So how do we even begin to change things and get what we want out of life, realistically? Yes, it’s possible to just decide to be happy and that’s it, but that is easier said than done. Well, the first step is to make a map of consciousness, i.e. to be aware and mindful of what occurs in the mind, the stream of consciousness, in other words, who and what you actually are.
It’s a little bit too difficult to just decide to be happy forever and that is it, for two reasons. One, it would take a degree of concentration, to deliberately choose an emotion permanently, that people generally don’t have without training (it’s possible though), but also there is the spontaneous stuff that just comes up. Thoughts, feelings, inner-voice cr*p, mental-pictures arise, sometimes in relation to immediate perception (what’s happening in the present) and other times not in relation to anything, like thinking about stuff.
So over a period of time, mindfulness needs to be trained and applied, i.e. to observe the contents of the mind, noting specific criteria, throughout the day and making a written record, — so we know what we are actually dealing with. If there is a specific area that takes up a lot of consciousness, a controlling or guiding set of beliefs (say around dating) then this can also be consciously considered and also recorded, a set of problems that need to be dealt with, in the mind.
Once this is all written down then the distortions and fallacies can be noted (in what ways you are crazy) and the sane ways you can and should be thinking. Then practice periods of actually being sane and thinking sane thoughts, having sane mental-pictures can hopefully be extended to long periods of the day and eventually (take it from me for now: it’s possible) the majority of the day.
Another thing to write down is a set of goals. It can be better to get the map of consciousness first, to see where some weakness lies. So perhaps a theme of avoiding certain social situations emerges or has been a pattern. Of course, repeating thoughts and mental-pictures in the mind affect behaviour and it a self-reinforcing loop that creates much of what you experience. So avoidant thoughts and fantasies and negative beliefs about social encounters can lead to (and does lead to) avoidant behaviour. One goal could be to do with dealing with that. The goals also can be new behaviours, or to reduce certain mental aspects of negativity (stop daydreams of making social mistakes) or conversely more positive self-talk about confidence or whatever. Have a specific, realistic time frame for these goals and use positive language, “it is my intention to”, or “I will”, not “I hope”.
So the technique is a mixture of mindfulness (observation) and writing (journaling) at this point. Although this is often marketed as a new thing, the journaling part is an ancient practice. It has two benefits. One is that it adds an objectivity to YOU, who you are. Who you are is a stream of consciousness. You can’t be sure if the world outside your skull is real or not, but there is definitely a stream of consciousness, and you can definitely reign it, and this in itself is the key to mastery (of reality, seeing and having what you want), but let’s not jump ahead.
You spend time observing the thoughts, feelings, mental chatter, inner-voice, mental-pictures, sensations in the body, whatever is going on. This all gets written down as a record, initially as a log. E.g.
So there was this thought and this feeling and these sensations and it was in reaction to this trigger.
Over time, this log becomes a narrative of repeating themes, and this is essentially who you are (at this point in time). Once it’s written down, then there’s an added objectivity about it. Some things will be immediately absurd. It’s not obvious when the stream of consciousness stays subjective in the mind as thoughts, feelings, sensations, mental-pictures — but on paper in the cold, hard light of day, there is a lot of insanity.