Is it wrong to see a Prostitute?

Is it Wrong to See a Prostitute

The issue of remuneration for sexual services is always going to be somewhat controversial, and it is always going to be something that most long-term members of the Forever Alone (adult virgin) community will at least consider at some point. If a definition of being sex positive is discussing sex without shame, emphasizing open communication, respecting consensual sexual practices and accepting diverse sexual practices; it should just be a question of do you want to pay for sex or not – but of course the whole issue is far more complex than this.

What is a prostitute?

Strictly speaking, prostitution means to exchange sexual activity (which involves physical touch) in exchange for legal tender (Green, 2016). This is quite a strict definition and wouldn’t account for much of what I’ve personally seen on the freelance scene in Asia.

Sex workers, taxis, patronage and friendships

Firstly, there is the issue of temporary girlfriends, women that live around areas frequented by foreigners who will be open to a ‘holiday romance’ which may not involve direct payment. Remember, it’s generally legal to exchange sex for anything other than money. These people may not consider themselves a type of sex worker and may not refer to themselves this way. The person paying for everything cannot be really called the buyer in this instance, although the unspoken deal is obvious.

A fairly young, attractive person will attach themselves to a much older, less attractive person in a temporary, no strings relationship when the older person will pay all living expenses while they are together, including accommodation (often a monthly apartment) and on leaving will stock the fridge, pay the rent for a few months, buy clothes and sundries etc.

If the person is coming back every year or twice a year then these relationships can become long-term patronages and money is sent monthly in the ‘buyers’ absence to pay for rent and the ‘couple’ stay in touch via messaging and, for all intents and purposes, it is a long-distance relationship. There is the understanding that the younger one will have similar relationships with other partners in the patron’s absence, but when the patron returns for their two weeks holiday, or month or two months, the younger one will be with them exclusively.

Women living like this are sometimes called ‘taxis’ (as they are easy to find and ‘pick up’). Most of the relationships I’ve seen personally, on the long-term expat scene, are like this. There are three things to note about this arrangement.

One is that, in my experience, the younger person can have a good life like this, are often very educated and have other options; they are neither trafficked nor pimped. They can be surprisingly old (because it’s companionship on offer as well as (presumably) sex; they are often in their sixties. Generally, their average wage will be far higher than the average for their country.

Another thing to note about this type of arrangement is that sex isn’t always transacted. Many people retiring as expatriates are elderly and the arrangement with their partner is non-sexual and providing only care needs. They will generally live-in with a partner, and there can be affection, romance and practical help in a non-sexual relationship. This isn’t my speculation but my experience of knowing women living in these types of arrangement; two of them are lesbians (one of them in a long-term relationship with a local woman) and all of them happy with the situation. Strictly speaking, the term ‘sex worker’ is more appropriate here as the work is of a ‘sexual (?romantic) nature and ‘sex worker’ semantic includes definitions and situations that are not strictly physically sexual (Weitzer, 2009).

The last thing to say about this arrangement, when it is sexual, is that it is not gendered. Women are often the ‘customers’ in this practice, and I will denote a separate section to this later in the coming article.

Different forms of prostitution

Of course, there is also the straight up selling of sexual contact for hard currency, in the strict definition of the word. But there are two points I’d make here. One is that you also cannot make gender assumptions. People do make gender assumptions all the time, which is why different language is used.

Prostitution double standards in language

For example, having discussions about ‘red light experiences’ with people locally, people might talk about going to a massage parlour, which is often a front for prostitution, and has an associated seediness and euphemisms such as ‘happy ending’ for the masseur providing male orgasms. Although in the region I’m in, when discussing this, I’ve often had foreign women tell me that every massage they went for with a male provider, was essentially the same thing. A normal massage, and then an offer at the end for a sexual service (generally provided with the hands only) and the term is yoni massage (all terms used when men are buyers are judgemental and poetic when females are buyers!). My anecdotal observation that this is the norm with female travelers (and not only the ones I meet personally) is born out by searching ‘yoni massage’ on reddit.

The harmful and accepted forms of prostitution

This isn’t to say that the commonly held (negative) assumptions about prostitution don’t exist exist and that there isn’t real harm that occurs because of it. There are possibly 42 million prostitutes worldwide (, 2024) and global revenues top 100 bn USD (Wikipedia, 2024). The amount of males who have used a prostitute varies worldwide with a low (7% in the UK) to a high of 80% in Asia (Månsson, Sven-Axel, 2004). In countries with high levels of prostitution there are more positive attitudes and not only do most young men see prostitutes, but those who do not are considered unusual (web archive, 2024). Some studies show that many strict sex workers experience violence and the same European study found that of the total surveyed sex worker population, ten percent report having been trafficked (ojp, 2024).

Going though the scientific literature and studies, it becomes very apparent that there are many types of behaviour that we are talking about, many situations, and the strict definition of paying legal tender for a sexual service that involves touching but does not involve relationship beyond a single session of (sexual) touching is just one form, although it seems to be the exclusive form that both science and the law focuses on, and it is (generally) more the type of exchange where males tend to be the buyers and females tend to be the sellers (and of course third gender (such as myself) are fully marginalized and invisible), and this is the type of exchange that is demonized. My experience of this scene, in Asia, is limited as it seems to be more geared towards tourists and short-stay travellers. Although this type of exchange isn’t something I’m going to focus on exclusively on this site, I do want to address some issues around this.

The arguments and evidence around traditional views of prostitution

One study (Moen, 2014) presented an argument against the criminalization of prostitution. This appeared in a medical journal, which is actually a common venue for this issue to be played out because there is an issue around disability and the right to intimacy (if it exists), which I will come on to.

The central argument is that prostitution is inherently wrong because it is impersonal, but nowadays, no strings casual sex is impersonal and acceptable to many people and so it makes no sense that it’s inherently wrong that money changes hands. I’d add to this the earlier point that, it’s OK to ‘pay’ (directly or indirectly) for sex with anything accept money (bitcoin or gold certificates?) and one may also ask, is dating really free and equal? I was volunteering for an extended period in Thailand at one point (two years) with short-term (three month) volunteers who received free accommodation and food for a short amount of work. They were true shoestring travellers and often living pretty hand-to-mouth. Among the women, it was pretty common to use Tinder dating to get free food and gifts, clothes, not as a direct, explicitly stated transaction, but an understanding. They would swipe right, and in an ensuing chat ensure the interested party understood that they were short of money, couldn’t pay for the date and ‘had no nice clothes’ and would extend their traveling period this way. These were educated Western women who wouldn’t consider themselves prostitutes at all, they would have been insulted should I have suggested it (although it was what I was thinking at the time). But even conservative feminists wouldn’t call this exploitative, it’s not illegal in the slightest, although it involves the exchange of sex for goods… so the difference is what exactly?

The demonization of this specific form of transaction is largely a habit of thinking. Society has always told us this and we don’t question it. Many people accept that eating pork is harmful and bad, but the idea of it being wrong is a judgement and there is not firm evidence of harm. If there is harm that can sometimes occur (like food poisoning in some instances) is purely eating pork the cause and banning it the solution?

So looking at the harm that prostitution can be said to cause (still talking now about the stereotypical male/female short-term transaction type) there are facts suck as prostitutes having higher rates of depression, suicide, STDs and risks of being assaulted. However, there is a parallel to homosexuality and homosexuals in the early twentieth century, where gay people had the same negative outcomes around STDs, depression and suicide and the explanation was that homosexuality is inherently evil, a social evil that causes disease, attracts vice and gangsters, and also attracts the unstable and suicidal.

But nowadays in the West, gay men (lesbians were apparently invisible in the early twentieth century) don’t have higher rates of suicide, depression, the risk of being assaulted, STDs. They’re the same as everyone else. The problem wasn’t homosexuality itself, the problem was demonizing homosexuality, forcing it underground and pushing people out of society, making them ashamed and disconnected (Forsvant, 2015).

Homosexuality in the early twentieth century had high depression and suicide rates and they said it was a harmful practice (not identity), but now it doesn’t have these effects. Yet at the time gay people were universally hated (in the same way prostitutes and customers are now) and seen as spreading social evil. It was world of vice and venereal disease because it is forced underground.

The same paper goes on to imagine an analogy. Think of what would happen if hairdressing as a profession were made illegal. Performing this trade not only resulted in jail terms, but it was also a hated profession. Parents would warn their children that hairdressing was wrong and dirty and the people who did it were bad people. If hairdressers wanted to leave the trade then they were forever tainted and no one would employ them. When they were assaulted the police wouldn’t take them seriously as they weren’t valued in society. It was illegal for them to access proper business premises and pay tax, hire security so they can be safe. Likely all the harm attributed to prostitution would be now the identical bane of hairdressers.

Does prostitution lead to objectification

Another objection is objectification. It has been suggested that men who use sex workers learn to see women as objects and so it hurts the woman in the transaction and all women thereafter (again, excuse the constant heteronormatism). In this argument there are assumptions, that the buyers are actually seeing the sellers as fungible and don’t have attachments and build relationships with them.

In my personal experience of essentially living in this scene, this pure financial transaction is very rare. Are sexual partners really fungible (all the same). If you’ve had sex with more than two people you’ll know it’s the exact opposite, each experience is very different. Although the stereotype is that males want and enjoy all sex all the time and women are choosy and can be disappointed, I can assure you (as a man and as a third gender) this is not the case. The physical aspects can be good and they can be disappointing.

Most buyers develop longer-term ‘relationships’ of seeing the same person over a period of years because the simple fact (not stated in academic journals as the researchers research by asking questions rather than….) most sexual encounters are ‘meh’. It seems women are allowed to say this and men are not, but I think it is equally true for both. I had many partners thinking all was OK, … until I met one of the rare ones who was really OK, and we still know each other. I help her when she needs something practically doing, she was there for me when I had an emotional shock a few years ago. We are (gasp!) friends!

In fact, this is opposite to most transactions. Think of when you get food delivered. The driver is actually totally fungible; you don’t care who it is. Deep down, you don’t care if they are enjoying their job. But sex is a transaction, two people give each other something, and the vast majority of men want their partner to enjoy the experience because it enhances their own, whereas you sitting down with your burger after the driver has left couldn’t give a F^&$ if he’s having a good day or not (and I’ll assume ‘he’ here as driving jobs are dangerous, badly paid with unforgiving hours…. basically a job reserved for XY).

Issues of economic disparity and prostitution

In the delivery driver example, there is also the issue of economic disparity. Many customers using delivery drivers are far more affluent than the drivers whom serve them – based on the fact that food delivery is a luxury – they are delivering your food and not vice versa. Thus you can make the parellel that economic dominance also applies to prostitution. The issue here is that, very few economic transactions are equal. You have more than the driver, but you can be buying the burger from a multimillion dollar company. The driver brings you the food because they have to do something to make money. Now you might say yes, but they chose delivery rather than prostitution because they are not as desperately poor, and if a prostitute is desperately poor, then they must satisfy every whim of their client as the client all the money and so the power, but your delivery driver can just quit and do something else.

Yet when you buy a piece of bread, you have the money, and the seller has the bread. It’s a transaction. If they don’t like your price or you they can say no. If a person is so poor with so few options that they cannot leave their job or sell a product they do not want to sell so they are in a bakery on minimum wage selling bread for someone rich. So the problem is poverty, that it reduces choice and causes slavery, rather than selling bread (or delivering burgers to the middle class) being an inherently bad thing in itself. Now switch body for bread (like in church!).

The last objection to prostitution – false emotions

The last objection in the study is that constant faking is also harmful. The faking being pretending to like someone you do not (an assumption that these transactions are singular and impersonal) and that sexual pleasure has to be faked (rather than either genuine, or an agreed one way sexual transaction where the buyer is the receiver). There are a couple of issues here. In the West, males face a constant barrage that they have to ‘be male’, and constantly drilled how important it is to them to sexually satisfy a partner and they are a personal failure in any situation where that isn’t the case and both women and other men (third gender doesn’t exist) will ridicule them.

The fact is that, not every man buys this or cares about it. Many people are comfortable with one-way experiences. A male identity isn’t necessary, it’s a choice not all people are making. Third gender do in fact exist, and lastly is the fact that it’s a female wet dream that all men are desperate to please them and their self-esteem depends on their approval, and when that isn’t the case, just ridicule, lash out, threaten, humiliate etc. until it is. (Let’s not talk about men having disappointing sexual experiences and faking themselves – lest the hysteria begin!)

These are my own thoughts (an an intersexual sans male/gender identity (thank god!). The study makes the observation that many jobs involve similar faking, basically all of the service industry (Have a nice day sir!), but also acting itself. How about a non-sexual massage when the massage is having a bad day, is tired, the customer is fat and not that hygienic and they have to put a smile on their face. It’s presented differently in this scenario because the purchaser can be female and so somehow it’s OK.

Women who pay for sex and female sex tourists

I’m going to move on from that stereotypical view/assumption of prostitution, men buying short-time, no attachment (consensual) sex and take a look at the double-standard I’ve mentioned a few times. I was always aware of this in the back of my mind. I remember seeing something in the news in Thailand, about the homeless population on this beach, where many of them were Western men who had nothing, not even a ticket home, and were essentially living on a mixture of begging and collecting plastic bottles for recycling, which is pretty much the occupation of most of Thailands poor.

The reason they end up like this is they are older men who come to Thailand to retire, get married to a local, get divorced and lose everything. In Thailand, it’s illegal for foreigners to own property, so the main asset is in the wife’s name, and the courts have a bias against foreigners. In divorce proceedings, these jilted men are invariably bankrupted. I was active on expatriate message boards at the time and mentioned this, and there was little sympathy, and many references to the preferable ‘swanny dive’. I.e. men in these situations are often in high-rise buildings. After being left penniless when the marriage doesn’t work out, then they can’t face the prospect of going back to their home country to start from scratch close to retirement age and so go headfirst out the window. I recall the news program I was watching, it was focused on a local NGO that was trying to help them, although it’s actually illegal to help them because they’re foreigners.

Well living on this scene the way I do, stories like this get my attention. There was a similar thing I saw on youtube, part of a whole series Holiday Love Rats (Nine Lives Media, 2024). It’s essentially the same premise as the news story, people who are financially cleaned out by foreign spouses, but the genders are reversed. Yet, as the titles suggests, here the victims are seen as … victims. Women in the same situation garner sympathy and I’ve never understood this.

It might come down to the same unspoken bias, that any male sexuality or sexual expression is always inherently bad, and the same thing for females is good. I’ll give an example. The Oscar winning film, The Shape of Water. In this story, researchers capture some kind of reptilian sea creature, and a female researcher falls in love with it. Late in the film a colleague is asking how she has sex as she cannot see genitals on it and the protagonist mimes a pod opening, and genitals coming out – which she presumably had sex with. That sounds like a comedy due to my poor writing ability, but the film was essentially a romance. The viewer was supposed to be on her side and rooting for them, and the positive happy ending is her jumping into the sea to live there permanently as his lover.

Now imaging the roles reversed. A serious, romantic film about a man researching a reptilian sea creature who falls for it, and a colleague asks if he has sex and he mimics a pod opening and vagina being there and miming how he can thrust in and out of it. It wouldn’t be seen as romantic but creepy and weird.

There is another unrelated example, a prison series on TV. In one episode they looked at how long-term prisoners relieved themselves sexually. In the male prison, there’s a concept of ‘the glove’. Prisoners obtain a latex glove, put lubricant in, have sex. But it was all reported in judgemental tones, only one prisoner was willing to talk about doing it, backlit to the camera and it was heavily censored, specifically the narrator saying they can’t give a detailed description of this ‘desperate’ practice on air.

Cut to part two, the female side, where apparently making penises out of collected paper and glue (crude papermache) can be used as dildos. No backlit shadows here, more like a tupperware party, with white collar criminals acting like in a stripper show, bragging about how big they can make it! The narrating voice is empowering with a ‘you go girl’ type attitude.

And why not? If you’re in jail, use a glove or a dildo or whatever floats your boat in a sex positive way, but my point is that, unconsciously in these examples (and always in life) there is an unconscious vilification of male sexuality, a romanticisation of female and there is no third gender.

So, to get away from the earlier stereotype and look at female sex tourism. I was shocked to see this covered, albeit in a one off program, on mainstream television (and covered in newspapers, which – to my utter shock and dismay – judged the whole practice as negative and the males as exploited (perhaps the times are achanging and I should lighten up sometimes?).

In the documentary (Gallagher, 2020) elderly women in the west (aged up to seventy) essentially go abroad to have sex, and the scene seems to be pretty much what I have seen in Asia but with two things reversed, the genders and (partly) the attitudes. When I saw the attitudes, it came across as less judgemental. The narrator was a Ghanian man born in the UK and he mentioned that, as he was walking around trying to interview men, on the bus, just living life, he was being not only propositioned but also groped sexually by elderly white women, who would then recoil when they heard his British accent (having assumed he was an impoverished local who would accept this touching on the basis of possibly being paid for sex down the line).

The narrator interviewed some of the men. One of them was saying how, he would know a woman (in her seventies) for a couple of weeks and the relationship would be very sexual, and when she left back for Europe, then he would never hear from her and basically he felt used and exploited. This was a huge, muscular, good looking black guy but the narration wasn’t really sympathetic, but incredulous. The presenter was almost irritated that this guy (who lived in a shack and had nothing) thought he was in love.

The presenter also got to know the women, who mainly were quite happy explaining what they do, and why and they seem to have no issues with the ethics of it all. One woman is sitting around in the UK bragging about the amount of men she can get and the great sex, laughing and feeing empowered. Later in the program she is in a hotel room and ends up crying, saying in the UK she feels old and sick and unwanted and she goes to Ghana and feels young and wanted. And I think it’s good that she does (personally), but at this point, the narration is kind, sympathetic. The repeating point I’m going to make is, take that crying lady out of the shot, put in a crying man who feels lonely, marginalized, discarded and sick in the UK and he goes abroad for no strings sex with a woman a third his age and feels much better, and the attitude would be different.

I admit that this isn’t clear-cut. The attitude in much of the print press was negative. There are academic studies and books on female sex tourists, which Bindell (2013) estimated to be 60,000 a year from the West, probably more now.

In one study (Klien, 2016) notes that female sex tourists are always economically privileged compared to their sellers. This isn’t always the case with the expatriate scene I have seen, in long-term relationships, where the local female partner can be earning more than the ‘customer’. At this point, it’s gone from even patronage to becoming an ordinary relationship.

Female sex tourism seems much more focused on Africa. Phillips (2008) sees this as a type of neocolonizing of people. Black men long ago internalized their inferiority – and now there is a striving for equality i.e. the conquest of the white woman, to construct a gendered identity, animalistic and led by natural instincts – but it’s still dependency bought about by a sexual labour relationship. Racist ideas about black men being over-sexualized means that women can delude themselves that it isn’t prostitution and so use terms like beach-boys or boyfriends (Bindel, 2003). Phillips (2008, P.202) suggests it’s more like the slave trade, “where women check teeth, limbs and dicks before buying.”

I want to try and not be one-sided (as there are more than two sides). One thing I remember watching the program is that a lot of the transactions was in the form of paying rent for the men, or buying them clothes, and I assume it is a kind of ‘temporary patronage’ which is the most common form of transaction that I see in Asia. Not money directly for a sexual experience at and for a set time, but occasional gifts of cash as lump sums for an ongoing ‘relationship’ without strings that can then (sometimes) become more permanent (as I described).

Is the a difference between male and female sex tourists?

So in this sense then I wonder what the gender difference is. The geography is very interesting. One commentator earlier suggested the reasons female sex tourists are choosing Africa is black men internalizing inferiority. I have no idea about this. South East Asia seems to be the focus for male sex tourists. It’s possible that up to seventy percent of male tourists to Thailand are sex tourists (Eskelinen and Kospi, 2015) and it’s interesting that this centre for male activity was actually never colonized by the West and so internalization of inferiority cannot be suggested. One reason might be that Buddhism doesn’t regulate sexual behaviour and so prostitution not seen as desperate last resort as in west (Asvik and Asvik, 2004) and I notice that local attitudes are wholly different. Rao (1999) defines a sex tourist definition is a man who is tired of taking a politically correct position on his sexual preferences because of social pressure. Most Thai men use prostitutes starting in teenage years and continue throughout life (presumably until and in-between marriage). Prostitution wasn’t criminalized in Thailand until the twentieth century and for most of Thailand’s history was seen as a valid profession.

Nowadays most Thai prostitutes have a comfortable lifestyle (Asvik, P 59-63) and many girls are looking for marriage partners (p 62-65) and the man is the property of the woman who first took him (p148-149). There is also the concept of Mia Chao, which basically means ‘a rented wife’, basically a specific word for the long-term patronage which I mentioned is the arrangement I’ve seen personally to be most common and also noted in the female sex tourism documentary. So it could be suggested that, in Thailand at least, men are coming and partaking in something preexisting in the local culture whereas in the African context, female sex tourists are creating something for themselves.

Prostitution, sex workers and disability

The last area I wanted to cover was disability. When looking into this subject I was surprised to discover that the ‘is prostitution harmful’, at least in academia, focuses on disability issues – where the central issue being seriously debated is a person’s right to intimacy. Prostitution is used for people who would otherwise be unable to be sexually intimate, such as people with serious physical disability, but also people on the spectrum (Matthews, 2018).

A poll in a UK newspaper revealed that 70% of people would not have sex with a disabled person (Vanquaethem, 2017) and many disabled people using prostitutes have this arranged by carers, family members, friends or support workers (Brown, 2015) and this is not illegal in England (Casciani, 2021). Ezio Di Nucci, a professor of bioethics at the university of Copenhagen has suggested, rather than prostitution, setting up an NGO with volunteers offering sexual services on an altruistic bases.

The thoughts that come to my mind here is that the attitudes are very different when the buyer is seen as the victim/disadvantaged, but then what exactly is a disability? The newspaper poll suggests 70% of people wouldn’t have sex with a ‘disabled’ person, what about a poor person, a very unattractive person, a painfully shy person? What exactly is the criteria for being attractive and for being disabled? What is the criteria for being seen as either a worthy victim… or just worthy. How about an abuse survivor who spends half a century forever alone (and not hateful) healing and eventually just bites the bullet because they didn’t want to die with the only physical touch they recalled in a lifetime being hit, punched or non-consensual sex? Opps, too close to the bone!

This is half of the takeaway. The other half I’d like to bring to the debate is the variety of experience. There is the focus of 99% of all the academic research, XY males with no conscience using either trafficked or impoverished XX females for a short time, paid sexual experiences that involves touching genitalia (at least). In my (practical and now vast) experience, this is rare, although the most focused on.

I’m thinking of the girlie bars in Thailand where men go and pay ‘ladies drinks’ which include a tip for the women, then pay a separate bar fine to take the women away from the bar, and then negotiate a price for a limited time, once only sexual encounter. I know many women personally who do this, as my good friends. It’s the non-freelancer scene. It comes with a wage which is generally half of the normal wage for say a shop worker, but each ‘ladies drink’ is a (sizable) tip they can keep. The largely unknown fact (at least in academia) is that most of these women don’t sell sex, they sell entertainment. The wage and tips are a living wage. I have no figures or haven’t conducted a survey. I might try and interview a few of them for the site. If they do sell sex, it’s their choice and because they are seeing short time tourists, the price is VERY high. I’ve never heard of a girl doing something they don’t want to, although I’m sure it happens.

But really, it’s the variety of experiences. Most of them are patronage variety as I explained, and then you have to ask exactly what the difference is between this and casual sex? There might be an age gap. Because of the price purchase parity, the receiver might end up with a high value of goods/bills paid or whatever. If this then becomes long-term patronage, what exactly is the difference between this and any other long-distance relationship? It’s not exclusive and people have more than one arrangement at the time. But then are open relationship inherently bad or only bad if they involve either/or an ongoing stipend or multiple partners? At what point does it become racism to control another persons body and say what they can do sexually based on our culture when their own doesn’t forbid it? Is a carer for a disabled person whose relationship includes romance but not sex a sex worker? If the same person gives sex to earn their wage, are they a sex worker or a surrogate? If a rich white woman falls for a less rich white man, marries him and ends up paying for everything, is she abusing him? The only way that could be suggested is if he was much younger, and otherwise wouldn’t couple with her sexually…. but would he? But what about when the man is older and richer?

Maybe the issue is to focus on sex positivity. Everyone does what they want without hurting other people. Poverty and slavery are separate issues because they hurt people and need to be eliminated.

Why is the entire focus on the rare type of prostitution of a man paying for short term no strings sex with a female? What is the difference? The only thing I can think of is the power reversal. XY men seed children and XX females carry the burden of them (traditionally) and so we evolved that women are selective of partners, which of course they can be. They select strong genes, avoid disabled or ugly people and so the species is strong.

It’s good that women have this power and choice over their bodies and sexuality and no decent person would suggest it should be taken away. In alternative arrangements, like volunteer surrogates, paid surrogates, prostitutes, then men are empowered to choose partners as they please, and it kind of breaks the rules. Men are supposed to chase women or pursue them and women choose the ones they like. Look at 90% of what comes out of Hollywood, it’s seen as healthy romance, and empowering men means they aren’t out structuring their lives to please women but can choose no strings arrangements, one way sexual practices, and this then breaks the golden rule of the modern age.


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